I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
