A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
