You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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