I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
