i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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