Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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