This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
