i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
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