They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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