some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize