i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
