He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
