Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
