I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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