I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She bit a glass in half.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
