k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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