Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
