theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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