Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
