I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
