Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
