You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize