I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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