The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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