Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize