Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
