my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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