Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
