If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
