did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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