they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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