Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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