I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
