About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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