Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
