If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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