I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You can't motorboat a personality
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
