its not stalking. its research.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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