Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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