My brain says no but my pants say off.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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