Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
