You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize