your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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