I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
