I wish I could teleport
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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