i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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