Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize