So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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