he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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