well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Randomize
