we should wear snuggies to the strip club
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
