I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
