I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
