I wish I could teleport
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
