why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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