i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
