Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
