i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Randomize
