Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize