I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
