I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
