you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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