Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize