why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
