Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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