So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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