i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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