We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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